It’s time to go back to blogging again :D >so happy<

With all the things that has been happening in my life, I had forgotten about this blog. As I read the posts, I remember the things that I’ve been through – from being a student to being a mother.

I’m glad to say that I have finally graduated from college last June 2015. And that I am working my dream of being an actuary with little Jibril by my side and my husband J.

I’ll be updating this blog more often now. I’ll post Jibril’s photos so I can share with you how he had grown up to a sweet little boy who never fails to hug me whenever I got home…


See you soon!


A Sweet Journey

It has been six weeks since I gave birth. I’m still a hands-on mom but I leave Jibu with my in-laws every time I go to school.

My stitched wound from section is slowly turning into a scar. The surgical thread is no longer visible. What’s left is a 4 to 5 inch dark scar; the surrounding skin is slowly peeling off as well. However, the scar hurts a little from time-to-time. I guess it’s just normal since the tissues inside still aren’t fully healed.

As the wound turns into a scar, my Jibu also grows from a baby to a boy. I always talk to him and he mumbles as if he’s talking back to me. With this little guy by my side each day, I can feel my fast recovery from the major abdominal surgery.

Of course, J is still always there to assist me, from walking, carrying my bag to assisting me when going up and down the stairs.

a sweet journey with you

going to school holding each other’s hand… such a sweet journey

Living a Double Life

I am a MOM… I am a STUDENT

I’m a new mom, gave birth last month. Yeah, I was attending school while I am still pregnant. Commuting every day for four hours going to and back from school. Taking exams while having a morning sickness. That’s how I lived for the past nine months. Tough? Yeah. But I was able to survive…my little JIBU was also able to survive.

Until my 9th month of pregnancy, I was still attending school. I only take a leave the day before I was about to give birth; only when I was having labor. A week after birth, I went back to school. I want needed to. I was given this last chance, last semester to finish my remaining units left. In spite of having a C section and still recovering from the surgery, I once again commuted 4 hours riding bus and walking from different buildings in our school. That wasn’t the hard part though. Rather, it was leaving Jibu’s side. For a week that we’ve spent together after his birth, it was the most difficult moment to step out of the door and spend the whole day without him beside me. I cried. It was the moment that I realized how I’ve changed from being a lady to being a MOTHER.

A month after, I am still attending school. I am a hands-on mom. Yet, I was able to live my double life!

Luckily I only have 3 days of class – Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, and all of them are half-day – 1:00-4:00PM of class. Lucky me! I can spend the rest of the morning and the evening with my Jibu. Oh did I mention that I am breastfeeding? Yes I do. That’s our baby-mommy bonding time – breastfeeding, playing and cleaning his poopies 😀 😀 😀

Having an Emergency C Section … I’m not prepared!!!


I gave birth last September 18 through a Cesarean section…it was an emergency c section. It was during the last week of August when I was approximately 27 weeks pregnant that I was rushed to the hospital for having amniotic fluid leak. I was admitted in the hospital for having a labor trial to save the baby just in case the amniotic fluid left was not enough. Having my first pregnancy, I found myself lost, not knowing what’s happening and what might happen to my little angel. It became a more heart-pounding situation when my OB told me that the child is at risk – he’s still a few days away before turning 37 weeks and his lungs were not yet fully developed. It was a long, long night that every hour a nurse would go to my room to inject me with different drugs for both my little angel and I. The next morning came, I undergone ultrasound…only to find out that my previous scan was inaccurate and the baby is only 33 weeks and 5 days. We were shocked as I already had 2 scans before – 13 weeks and 28 weeks with the same estimated date of birth which also matched to my last period. Though we were doubtful, we went home as we were released from the hospital…it was just a false alarm. Two weeks later, I was at school when I noticed that my little angel is not moving since morning. I cut classes and rushed to my OB. I had a scan that night having the results that the baby is only 34 weeks and 2 days, and that there is enough amniotic fluid. Again, it didn’t match any of my previous scans! We went home that night knowing that the baby is healthy according to the hospital staff. Still doubtful, I had another scan the next day. This time, in the same hospital as my first scan during my 13th week of pregnancy. The result states that the baby is 35 weeks and 5 days. What the h*ll?! Neither of the previous 4 scans matched! It was confusing and frustrating at the same time. I don’t know if the baby is healthy or not, or what might be happening to both of us. We  then went back to my OB and showed her the results. She found out that the placenta is already matured and that I needed to give birth right away. I was once again admitted in the hospital and had trial labor. It was another long night but this time it was a painful one. The whole night until noon the next day, I had my labor…imagine how exhausting that is! It was 10am when I was finally brought to the delivery room. It was a cold room with metal tools and charts all over the place. I have no one beside me because Mr. J is at school; we’re still students, remember? It was frightening. I didn’t know what will happen next. I thought that was all. But shortly after I was brought there, my OB came. She checked for my cervix opening, it was only 3-4cm. She decided to rip the placenta and check the amniotic fluid. Here comes another problem to my already problematic pregnancy. What came out is baby’s poop. Yes, poop…there was so less amount of amniotic fluid, my baby might already had an infection because he might’ve swallowed his poop (sorry this might sound gruesome…but it really happens with babies in our womb). I needed to undergo an emergency C section. My gosh! I can no longer take this series of problems. I was so confused…I just find myself crying…alone…in that cold room. My OB went back after an hour leaving me alone there. She was with another doctor and a few number of nurses. Because of lack of sleep, exhaustion and confusion, I no longer understand what’s happening. The next thing I knew, I was already back in my room with the lower half of my body numbed. Finally, after all the things we’ve been through for a couple of weeks, we welcomed our little angel…we call him JIBU. It was so fulfilling that I forgot all the pain I experienced throughout my pregnancy and labor process…

a NEW mom, a NEW me


September 18, 2014 12:29PM, we welcomed our little boy.

For the past 9 months of being pregnant, I experienced a tough journey before giving birth. I am still a college student when me and Mr. J discovered that I am pregnant. At first, I wanted to abort the baby because I know I can’t take care of him since I am still studying. We even bought abortion pills a few weeks later…but I simply can’t kill this innocent life, a blessing from God. After a few days, we went to the doctor for an ultrasound, there we saw our little angel and finally, we were convinced to continue this pregnancy no matter how difficult it will be for us.

So, I still attend classes despite my pregnancy. Unfortunately, my morning sickness made it hard for me to go to class and take exams. By the end of the term, I failed two of my subjects. It was devastating because that was supposed to be my last term and I was about to graduate. Even so, I made an appeal to the director of our department and ask for readmission for the next semester. Miraculously, I was given the permission to still continue my studies for another term in spite of my condition.

Another problem we encounter is telling our parents about my pregnancy. We tried to hide the baby and we were able to do so until my fifth month. But it was getting more difficult to hide him as each day he’s growing and my morning sickness worsens. Finally, May of this year, we revealed everything to both our parents. We were teary-eyed and hopeless knowing that they will not accept us and that we will have to stop studying to live a married life on our own. But another miracle occurred, they accepted the baby without even getting mad at us nor blaming us for our mistake. Yes “mistake”. Given the time and situation we are in, having a baby is a mistake…but the baby himself was never a mistake, he is a blessing. We’re really happy and grateful to have parents who are willing to support us despite our downfalls.

Last month, I was away from school for two weeks because of giving birth. We were expecting a normal delivery but the baby had complications having low amount of amniotic fluid. So in the nick of time, I delivered through C section. The labor process was so painful that I had my lymph nodes appeared under my ears. The problem does not end there, my baby was not breathing. The ultrasound was not able to detect that the umbilical cord was coiled at the baby’s neck. The nurse performed CPR and he finally cried. What moment of relief seeing the baby and hearing him cry for the first time. It was priceless!

Now I am off to my journey as a new mom…

Jibu says HELLO!

First picture of Jibu taken a few hours after his birth

First picture of Jibu taken a few hours after his birth

Say hello to our little angel as he made his first appearance to this world.

This baby is a fighter. He was not breathing when he was born because his umbilical cord was coiled around his neck. He also had an infection and needed to stay in the hospital for almost a week. But now he is so healthy and active that he even rolls over and crawls like a worm…he’s just too cute.